The Post is famous for procrastinating on writing articles. So to combat that, we reached out to an AI to write a season preview for us so we don’t have to. No edits.

In short, MLS has no idea what they’re doing. And I do mean literally they don’t know what they’re doing, we’re less than a week out from the start of the 2023 season and not a single coach, player, or owner knows what the playoff will look like this year.

I came out of retirement from the one article I’ve ever written to give the people what they need: The top ten most adorable pictures of Álvaro Barreal

I went with the tried and true honest attempt to capture the city, the club, and our collective history in a playlist. I’m publishing this on Apple Music, and Spotify for the heathens. Here’s what I put on it and why I put it.

FC Cincinnati’s star striker, no not Brandon Vazquez, the other one, Brenner is in the rumor mill again. This time MLS’s Tom Bogert tweeted that English Premier League side Nottingham Forest made a formal offer for the Brazilian striker.

It’s a pretty good time to be a fan of the local NFL team.

So you can’t blame people in Cincinnati for being a bit enthusiastic.

Well, actually, if you’re WVXU columnist John Kiesewetter, you can.

Last year the assumption going into the season was Albright and Noonan were going to remake Cincy in Philly’s image: a 4-4-2 diamond filled with talented teenagers + the expensive signings Philadelphia’s owners couldn’t provide.

To help folks get familiar with the players on the roster by identifying the best movie to come out in each year that a current FC player was born. (Work with me here.)

FC Cincinnati announced today that they will again be making the absurd decision not to broadcast preseason matches this year.

What if College Football adopted a promotion and relegation format? Well, if they ever did, here’s one possible league pyramid they could use.

As presciently, and exclusively, predicted this week by The Post, the FC announced Thursday the acquisition of Isaiah Foster, a 19-year-old left back who most recently played for the Colorado Springs Switchbacks

The Post is now on Discord! Anyone can join now to talk about FC Cincinnati, the latest player rumors, and anything else even tangentially related to The Post!

Explaining the MLS - Apple TV deal with the information we know right now. This should help to clear up some of the confusion surrounding this deal.

The 33 year old Argentinian Center-back, currently playing in La Liga for Elche has popped up on the FC Cincinnati radar. Fernández has played the majority of his career in the UK having spent most of his time with Swansea City before moving to Newcastle in 2018.

Kevin, The Chief, and Jonah broke down, match by match, how the entire 2023 season was going to go for FC Cincinnati. And let’s just say everyone was feeling confident.

If you’re anything like Knifey Lion Radio’s Jonah – who learned on the latest PostCast that, to his surprise, Geoff Cameron is currently out of contract – you’ve probably been too busy motorboating the twin distractions of the World Cup and the Bengals’ playoff push to lift your head up and look at the MLS transfer tracker.

This article is the genuine product of a clear-eyed close reading of a film, and not at all induced by sublimated energy from avoiding Gio Reyna discourse.

FC Cincinnati won its first playoff game in club history yesterday. And I do mean club history, and yes I’m one of “those guys” who correctly sees advancing past Nashville in 2018 as a draw.

Yesterday we found out who made the shortlists for MLS’s year end awards and they were bad. Like real bad. FC Cincinnati fantastic candidates who should have been in the running for a number of awards who were all snubbed.

A beautiful night in, allegedly, the world’s best soccer stadium was the stage for FC Cincinnati’s most disappointing match of the season. A pathetic, dispirited performance when everything was on the line.