The FC Cincinnati Playlist
Kevin Wallace
With the new Apple TV streaming deal, MLS is now in deep into the Apple “walled garden”. That means Apple is using the full extent of their brand to incorporate MLS into different places it hasn’t been before. Will MLS players be in Apple Fitness? Yeah, I expect it. An MLS Apple Arcade Game? I would be shocked if they’re not working on it.
And that means MLS teams are getting some playlists in Apple Music. Sadly, and dare I say predictably, FC Cincinnati does not have an official playlist. So I’m here to right that wrong.
Now I know what you’re expecting, you’re expecting a sarcastic effort here. And honestly, that would probably have been much more entertaining. Doris Day and Rosemary Clooney filling up a match day podcast is objectively hilarious and I invite it. However I went with the tried and true honest attempt to capture the city, the club, and our collective history in a playlist. I’m publishing this on Apple Music, and Spotify for the heathens. Here’s what I put on it and why I put it. And this playlist is intended to be played through, not on shuffle. But if you shuffle it I won’t tell anyone.
Listen Along: Apple Music | Spotify
Song: Intro (98 degrees)
Artist: 98 Degrees
Why: Look, there aren’t a lot of 98 Degrees songs that are going to work in a match day playlist. If someone has a better suggestion I’m completely open. But in the meantime I wanted them represented. The intro to their debut album is perfect to start a Cincinnati playlist, and leads perfectly into the first “real” track.
Song: Baila Conmigo (feat. Kelly Ruiz)
Artist: Dayvi & Victor Cardenas
Why: As if this song wasn’t going to be on an FC Cincinnati playlist. Playing before kickoff of every game in MLS, or at least since moving to TQL, the song has had a weird relationship with fans. Originally, everyone hated, because the team sucked and like Grayson had a pavlovian response of disappointment to this song. But it powered through and now gives you the Carl Lindner Blue Pill vibes before kickoff.
Song: All Hustle, No Luck (feat. Pusha T, Bun B & Yo Gotti)
Artist: Easy Lantana
Why: Because this song is great. Lantana is a local rapper and any song where he shouts out Cincinnati is going to be in the running. But in terms of a match day playlist, this will get anyone with a pulse hype. I mean who doesn’t start their star-studded banger talking about voting for Obama?
Song: BOOMBAYAH
Artist: BLACKPINK
Why: This is the first of a few chant inspiration songs. A solid follow up to the last track to keep the mood up too boot which is key to the playlist. The chant in question here is “Oh FCC”, which this lovely (lonely?) rendition from Das Harkes is just perfect. Sidenote: BLACKPINK is the best K-Pop group. kthnxbye.
Song: How We Do It
Artist: Reflection Eternal, Snoop Dogg & Slim Thug
Why: Just an incredible album all around here. Talib Kweli teamed up with Cincinnati DJ and producer Hi-Tek to make an album and while any song could have worked, this song takes the cake. Sure there’s a verse about New York, Houston, and Los Angeles, but the bit from Hi-Tek about Cincinnati is just perfect. Deveroes, Harriet Tubman, and Larry Flint are all getting shouted out here which is just *chef’s kiss*. But stick around until the then to hear Snoop Dogg talk about his favorite fish spot in Cincinnati (Alabama Fish Bar, duh).
Song: Down Da Way
Artist: Tocka
Why: If you have to ask, I am begging you to listen to this song. If any Knights of the Bailey are reading this, the “Ya’ll can’t fuck, with, us” chorus is just begging to be turned into a chant (make it “funk” if you have to, to keep the cops off your back). This song is incredible for a number of reasons but my favorite is that the premies is that they’re trying to do one of those cupid shuffle hip hop dances but get distracted in the middle then start talking about how you’ll get killed in Cincinnati if you’re fucking around. Then they literally remember what they were trying to do in the second half of the song and try to teach the dance again before just shouting out Cincinnati neighborhoods. Hell even Forest Park gets a shoutout. This is the middle of three “classic” Cincinnati hip hop joints which is probably my favorite part of the playlist.
Song: Cincinnati Hat
Artist: Donte Griffin
Why: Because it’s about Cincinnati. Look they don’t have to be deep here. Just a classic Cincinnati hip hop song and it belongs on any Cincinnati match day playlist. Also a spiritual sequel to the last track. It also happens to be used in the intro of the Cincy Slangin Podcast, so check them out (one of the hosts may or may not have helped with this playlist, who can really say).
Song: I’d Rather Be With You
Artist: Bootsy Collins
Why: Because Bootsy. This is a great song to switch up the vibe in the playlist and keep it local. I’ll also take this space to argue that this song should be our post-win celebration song. Easy to learn, artist has already been on a tifo, is funky, and would be the perfect song to keep the winning vibe going. Max, Reece, make this happen. Solid followup to the bloc of hip hop the playlist just ran through.
Song: Welcome to the Jungle
Artist: Guns N’ Roses
Why: Cincinnati’s sporting tradition. That does work? Now that the Bengals are good, I guess Bengals songs can give us good vibes. This is the quintisensal Bengals anthem, and deserves a spot on the city’s playlist, even if it’s supposed to be about soccer. The throwback vibes from Bootsy continue with this one.
Song: Good Times
Artist: The Greenhornes
Why: Great song from a great local band. It’s as simple as that. If you’re not familiar with The Greenhornes, look them up. Three of them went on to join Jack White and Brendon Benson in The Raconteurs, so you may already be more familiar with them than you thought.
Song: Rasputin
Artist: Boney M.
Why: Another chant inspiration, this time “Win or Lose”. Also a great song that never fails to put a smile on my face. It fits in well here as the playlist finds a local rock band groove. But this band isn’t local, to be clear. It just fits well here.
Song: I Like It
Artist: Foxy Shazam
Why: Great song from a great local band. That should probably be on my computer’s clipboard at this point. Probably their most famous song? It’s great. High energy, exactly what it feels like to win a soccer match. Which is why this is my dark horse contender for the post-win celebration song. It probably wouldn’t be too hard to get them to come perform it in the Bailey either.
Song: The Path Before Me
Artist: Buffalo Killers
Why: ctrl+v. The Buffalo Killers are a very underrated stoner rock group and this song is, in my opinion, their best. It’s also a real ass kicking of a song and fits in a match day playlist just fine. It makes a perfect bridge from rock to where the playlist is off to next.
Song: Shout, pts 1 & 2
Artist: The Isley Brothers
Why: As if the most famous song from the most famous(?) Cincinnati group wasn’t going to be on this playlist. It’s shout, you know why it’s here. And if you didn’t know The Isley Brothers were from Cincinnati, congrats, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000.
Song: Cincinnati Fireball
Artist: Johnny Burnette
Why: The song is literally called “Cincinnati Fireball”. About a woman who is a fireball, sure, that’ll work. In 1960 this would probably get a crowd fired up, so it’ll have to do here too. It also pairs well with the next song very nicely.
Song: The Cincinnati Kid
Artist: Ray Charles
Why: It’s Ray Charles singing about a kid from Cincinnati. Fuck yeah it’s going on the playlist. I believe this song was written for the film of the same name starring Steve McQueen. This song basically serves as the perfect connector the song before it and the song after it.
Song: Nati Kid
Artist: Main Flow
Why: Main Flow is a local Cincinnati rapper who crushes this song. Coming directly after The Cincinnati Kid, this track flows in perfectly. Come for the Cincinnati reference, stay for the… Norwegian mass shooting bar? Look, it’s a good song alright? “I’m the Cincinnati Steve McQueen” is also a killer line if you know the origin of the song before it. And you do now! So enjoy that.
Song: Quesadilla
Artist: Walk the Moon
Why: “You’re putting Walk the Moon on here and NOT ‘Shut up and Dance’?” I hear you ask. Well don’t worry, that’s coming later. But when a local band gets a song on a FIFA Soundtrack, it’s going on the FC Cincinnati playlist ok? I also love this song. It works well vibe-wise as the playlist is about to take a weird turn.
Song: Moliendo Cafe
Artist: Julio Inglesias
Why: Because this song inspired the most popular soccer chant in the world. Speed up the song and you’ll recognize Dale Cavese. I would be happy to tell you all about the history of this song in soccer supporter culture, but why waste my time when Cope90 did it better?
Song: Glad All Over
Artist: The Dave Clark Five
Why: Crystal Palace, that’s why. When FC Cincinnati hosted Crystal Palace back in 2016, it cemented Cincy’s place in the soccer world. 35,000 spectators came out to see the orange and blue take on an EPL side and from that point on FCC was a part of the Cincinnati sports landscape forever. Anyway, this is Crystal Palace’s anthem, and it was probably sung a few times that day.
Song: Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)
Artist: Blessid Union of Souls
Why: Local Artist with a great song. See what I did there? Probably can’t make a Cincinnati playlist without this one, so in it goes. It also eases us out of the left turn the playlist just took us.
Song: Shut up and Dance
Artist: Walk the Moon
Why: Here it is! You knew it, I knew it, it was going on here. Look this would be a fine song to be our post-win celebration anthem, but we can do better. And by better I mean Bootsy.
Song: Lit Up
Artist: The National
Why: It was really hard to find a song from The National that worked on a match day playlist. Lighten up fellas! The song title alone will at least look the part on the playlist, so we have that going for us. It also isn’t wildly out of place. It’ll work to bring a less intense vibe as we go into the next song.
Song: From the O (feat. Lantana & Speed Walton)
Artist: Dear Earl
Why: Three Cincinnati rappers bragging about Cincinnati. Yeah, it’s going on here. It’s a more laidback vibe than I would have liked on the playlist, but hey, the song is great. Any song that brags about Cincinnati while also talking about babies being shot here, yeah, it contains multitudes and is going on the list.
Song: Shake, Pt. 2 (Get Get Down Version)
“Artist”: IShowSpeed
Why: Twitch streamer IShowSpeed is from Cincinnati! I didn’t know that before the World Cup (Sky Sports cut ties with the streamer before the World Cup due to him having a few misogynistic videos in his past). BUT, speaking of World Cup, that’s his most famous song. It has 77 MILLION views on YouTube. A local artist did a song about the World Cup and that’s not the on that made it on the playlist? Look, I’d have loved to, but the way he pronounces Croatia “Cow-Ah-Tea-Uh” doesn’t make the cut. Besides, if you played this song for an unsuspecting friend, you could probably convince them this is Childish Gambino.
Song: Mr Brightside
Artist: The Killers
Why: This is what you people wanted. I’d guess a solid 30+% of the FC Cincinnati fanbase wants this song to be the post-win celebration anthem. And did you feel that whiplash in the playlist? Where it went from absolute hype to… whatever this is? That’s what it would feel like after a win. Do you like it? I don’t. Don’t do this FCC. Don’t. But if you do, I’ll back it 100% and belt out a song about a cheating girlfriend or whatever it’s about.
Song: Pump it Up
Artist: Endor
Why: Well for one, we gotta get the mood back up. And second, this is a nice nod to Nippert Stadium as it’s the pump up (ha! I finally got it) song for UC Bearcats football. It’s actually a bad song, but hey, they picked it not me.
Song: I Got You (I Feel Good)
Artist: James Brown
Why: Because this song was recorded at King Records and was probably the most famous song ever released from Cincinnati. That feels right anywhere. A solid addition to the playlist that sets the playlist off on a throwback bloc.
Song: It’s Your Thing
Artist: the Isley Brothers
Why: Because it’s their next most famous song after “Shout”, that’s why. It’s a banger, alright? It’s on the playlist, in a throwback bloc, and it works well. Why are you asking me so many questions? You make your own playlist if you’re going to keep questioning my inclusions here.
Song: One Nation Under a Groove
Artist: Funkadelic
Why: Hey, sorry I lost my chill back there. Bootsy puts me back in a good mood and this song is fantastic. It’s really long too, so yeah. Just enjoy this one, let it put you in a good mood as the playlist goes into the home stretch.
Song: Hey! Baby
Artist: Bruce Channel
Why: If you’ve ever been in the Bailey, or the march, or an FC Cincinnati match, you know why this one is on the playlist. But there is a requirement, you have to scream “Or guy if that’s how you identify” when singing this song or you’re not getting on Sky Sports either. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them. Swiftly and mercilessly.
Song: Big Ole (feat. Bbymutha)
Artist: Pink Siifu
Why: Great song from a great artist. The horror rap sound actually fits here, I think. Look I’ve placed this song in like 100 different places in the playlist and while it doesn’t work anywhere particularly well, it does a decent job anywhere I do put it. So I put it here. Do you have a better place for it? I’m all ears. Which is also how I hear this song.
Song: I’ll Make You See God
Artist: The Afghan Whigs
Why: Song, artist, both good, and the artist is local. Their most recent song is also their hardest in recent memory, and it’s a fantastic one to keep the vibe up before heading out for the march. Or getting that next expense report done. I’m not sure when you’re going to listen to this.
Song: She’s Killed Hundreds
Artist: Wussy
Why: I’m going to assume this is about Rose Lavelle, so you should too. Wussy is one of those bands that probably could have made it bigger is they completely sold out, and I’m glad they didn’t Or maybe they never got the offer? Then it’s sad. Either way, great song, and a great way to end the playlist, because…
Song: Welcome Home
Artist: Over the Rhine
Why: If you know, you know. This is still a chant that is sung in the Bailey. But back in the day it was also an attempted pre-match anthem. And when a local band offers the club and supporters their song, and is willing to record it faster or slower depending on what works, and they are completely into helping the idea of this song being the anthem grow, and the club turns them down? Well, you get sad. This song is a mood killer, but I’m putting it here because if I do, I can pretend it that’s song that last plays for you before The FC kick off and it can be the pre-match anthem it deserved to be. And then it’s kinda like the real start of the playlist, since obviously you’ll be listening to this on a loop. Not sure why you wouldn’t.
Honorable Mentions:
There’s a few songs that didn’t make the cut for a few different reasons.
Song(s): The Entire KLR Back Catalogue
Why: They’re only on SoundCloud
Song: Cincinnati, Ohio, Connie Smith
Why: I hate this song.
Song: Not Cincinnati, Dakevinshow
Why: It’s basically the opposite of this Pride scarf, which is fine, but it’s also not on Apple Music, which is make this a no-go.
What are you adding? Taking off? What songs would FC Cincinnati add?