Potty Mouth: Crew Striker May Have Actually Chugged Piss

Jonah Colina

Talking points abounded after The FC drew Columbus Crew last Saturday. Near the top of that list was the defiant beer chugging by Crew striker Cucho Hernandez. While the team celebrated their one point in front of their traveling supporters, some FC fans rained down cups and cans full of beer and water. Cucho was able to catch said beer and give a few gulps before dramatically tossing it to the side. Unfortunately for fans of both teams, that show of defiance may have been something far more sinister: Cucho might have drank piss.

 Sources within and around sections 104 and 105 tell The Post they spotted a middle aged man relieve himself into a half full beer can. His intention was purely functional, they tell us, and this drunken fan set the can down and prepared to stumble away. It was at that point that the game came to an end, with the visiting team heading straight for that corner. An emboldened Caleb Porter shushed and cursed The FC fans leading to the first wave of projectiles. The as of now unknown drunk urinator was then seen to throw the infamous can towards Cucho, which he then briefly drank from. 

Those who saw the entire ordeal from first piss to last gulp were said to be sickened, with one woman claiming to nearly vomit once she realized what all had happened. Immediately the clip went viral with Columbus fans taking pride in the impulsive moment. With the facts finally seeing the light of day, it’s hard to be as positive about the chug seen around the world. Chugging another man’s urine may prove a point, but it’s not always the point one should prove. Let’s hope the fan who couldn’t make it to the restroom is found and banned, and that Cucho feels no long term effects of the piss drinking. That’s something both sides can agree on.